Holiday Scripts for Neurodivergent People to Help Prevent Nervous System Overwhelm

Neurodiversity-affirming Scripts from Heartstone Guidance Center

The holidays are often framed as joyful and connective. For many people, they are also loud, unpredictable, emotionally charged, and deeply dysregulating. If you are neurodivergent: autistic, ADHD, living with PTSD, anxiety, or some combination of the above, holiday gatherings can overwhelm your nervous system quickly, even when you care deeply about the people involved.

At Heartstone Guidance Center, we take a neurodiversity-affirming approach. Dysregulation is not something to fix or feel ashamed of, it’s a nervous system responding to overwhelm the way it knows how. When we stop treating biology like a moral failing, we can shift from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What does my system need right now?”

What Are Scripts and Why Do They Help?

Scripts are short, pre-planned phrases you can rely on when your brain goes offline. Scripts can buy you time, help set boundaries, and protect yourself and your energy.

When you’re emotionally dysregulated:

• Language access often drops, you can lose your words

• Decision-making becomes harder

• People-pleasing or shutdown can kick in

• You may feel pressure to explain, justify, or over-disclose

Scripts reduce cognitive load. They give you something steady to reach for when your nervous system is in survival mode.

Scripts are not manipulative.They are protective tools.

Scripts for Different Moments of Holiday Dysregulation

1. When You Need to Step Away

Many neurodivergent people push past their limits because they fear being seen as rude or difficult. These scripts let you exit without explanation.

• “I need to take a short break. I’ll be back later.”

• “I’m going to step outside for a few minutes.”

• “I need some quiet time right now.”

You do not need to explain why. Protecting your nervous system is reason enough.

2. When You’re Asked Personal or Intrusive Questions

Holidays often invite questions about relationships, work, bodies, politics, health, or life choices—topics that can be activating, especially for those with trauma or anxiety.

• “I’m not talking about that today.”

• “That’s not something I’m open to discussing.”

• “I’m focusing on enjoying the day, not that topic.”

Clear boundaries reduce internal stress and prevent later emotional fallout.

3. When Emotions Are Rising and You Feel Close to Meltdown or Shutdown

These scripts help interrupt escalation and protect your capacity.

• “I’m feeling overwhelmed and need to pause this conversation.”

• “I can’t continue this right now.”

• “This is too much for me in this moment.”

Naming capacity is not the same as being dramatic. It is self-regulation.

4. When You’re Being Pressured to Stay, Participate, or Perform

People often mean well—and still push past your limits.

• “I’m leaving now, but I appreciate the invitation/thought.”

• “I’m not up for that activity.”

• “I need to do what works for my body/brain today.”

You are allowed to disappoint others to protect your nervous system.

5. Scripts for Autistic and ADHD Masking Fatigue

Masking is exhausting. These phrases reduce the pressure to perform socially.

• “I’m listening even if I’m quiet.”

• “I don’t have the energy to engage much today.”

• “I’m here, just low-key.”

You do not owe constant engagement to prove connection.

6. Scripts for Trauma and Anxiety Responses

If your body is reacting before your thoughts catch up:

• “I need grounding before I continue.”

• “I’m not in a regulated place to talk right now.”

• “Let’s revisit this another time.”

These scripts slow things down and create safety.

How to Make Scripts Work for You

Scripts are most effective when:

• You practice them out loud before gatherings

• You write them down or save them on your phone

• You customize language so it sounds like you

• You pair them with self-regulation/coping strategies, like stepping outside, deep pressure, or sensory comfort

Scripts don’t replace regulation, they support it.

A Final Reframe

Needing scripts does not mean you are fragile. It means you are aware of how your nervous system works. The holidays do not require self-abandonment or self sacrifice. You are allowed to protect your energy, your body, and your mental health without explanation.

At Heartstone Guidance Center, we believe that protecting your wellbeing comes before expectations, traditions, and the needs of others. Scripts are one way to help you protect your peace during the holiday season. If you’d like help creating personalized scripts or learning regulation strategies that work for your neurotype, we’re here for you.